The Ones He Left Behind
by Jewelshoes
Summary: Rose travelled across universes to find the Doctor, in hope to cure John, but all is not so simple, the Doctor's ill too and there's nothing anyone can do... or is there? Involves many New Who past companions. Eventually 11xRose - No River bashing. Now complete.
1. Chapter 1

It was late Saturday night Martha was finally letting herself relax. Letting her dark hair fall delicately onto her face, she leant back in her chair and let out a modest yawn. She was almost asleep when she saw, out of the corner of her eye; a blurry figure crouched at the end of her kitchen. Frozen in fright Martha let a small gasp escape, and in reply the figure moaned. Hearing the moan Martha's doctor's instincts leapt into action, and she began creeping towards the figure. As she got closer Martha realised _the_ figure, was actually two, one cradling the other in its arms. It was dark but Martha could make out the one crouched on the floor was a women, and as the woman reluctantly lifted her head, Martha remembered her face and spluttered "Rose?"

Seeing Martha Rose's face erupted into a tired grin. "Martha?" She asked in return for a small nod "Oh thank god. Thank god." Rose's shoulders relaxed as she breathed a sigh of relief. "Martha… you've got to help us. Please… please help us." She murmured as she slowly collapsed. Catching Rose in her arms Martha checked her vitals and carried her to a chair, before remembering the limp body fallen on the floor. It took Martha less than a minute before she realised who it was. How could she ever forget such a face? Collapsing onto the floor next to him Martha lifted his head onto her lap, and began searching for a pulse. In the end she found one heart, pumping a weak pulse. She started doing compressions on the same spot she'd done countless times before, but it didn't work, and it was only when Rose woke and told her, that she stopped.

"What do you mean that's not him?" Martha asked, her mind casting back to the fragile figure now resting up in her spare bedroom.

"That's John. John Smith." Rose told her "do you remember that time on Crucible? Do you remember the, the second Doctor?"

Martha nodded in response

"That's him. The Doctor, our Doctor, left him with me on the parallel universe."

"He didn't take you him? After all that time" Martha remembered the Doctor, her Doctor, never once looking at her, it was always Rose. When she had left she thought they would stay together, that the Doctor would finally be happy, but, obviously not.

"No" Rose replied "he left me with something even better. A human timelord. He can remember everything, you, Donna, me. But he only has one heart. He can't regenerate. And we can do the one thing he never could, grow old together." Rose glanced down, embarrassed after her small speech. "But that's not why we're here. Something happened, in the parallel earth." Rose began her tale:

"Once he, the Doctor, had left us it took a bit of getting use too. He's half Donna, half Doctor. At first I thought it was strange, I was used to _the_ Doctor, but he persuaded me it would work, and we moved in together. It's nice having him a little human, I mean now I have someone to chat about Eastenders to!" Rose gave a little laugh "he love Eastenders, says Donna used to. Anyway, back home I work at Torchwood, I wanted him to join, but he wouldn't to start with, too many bad memories, and he wanted to be a doctor. Said he knew one once, and he wanted her to be proud of him." Martha's eyes widened and a smile crept over her face. He wanted to be like her. He wanted to say sorry. "However" Rose was oblivious to Martha's thoughts "I eventually persuaded him, and he joined working on the medical team. Doctor John Noble."

"Noble?" Martha asked

"For Donna. He became the head of his field. You know the Doctor, always wanting to be the best. At first I still called him Doctor but now these days it's John. It grew on him over the years and now I can't call anything else. But his face lights up when someone calls him doctor at work." Rose smiled thinking fondly

"Do you, do you have children?" Martha interrupted

"No, he can't. Never will be able to." Rose felt her eyes drop on Martha's sideboard where pictures of children littered its surface. Martha followed her eyes "I'm sorry." She said simply, placing her hand on Rose's.

"Don't be, we live on. You do though?"

"Yes. Three, triplets. Completely unexpected, but we love them." Martha smiled

"We?"

"Mickey and I. When the Doctor dropped us off he followed me home. I was engaged, but that didn't last long. He kept pestering me; I found red roses through my door, a golden heart necklace in my pigeonhole at work. We got married six months later. Should have been the happiest day of my life, and it was. Apart from the Siltheen attack." Martha laughed and gestured for Rose to continue.

"-At work the Doctor met these too women, Martha and Donna."

"You serious?" Martha sniggered "Us, for real?"

"Yeah. For real." Rose couldn't help laughing at Martha's expression of shock "To begin with Donna was a secretary and Martha a junior doctor, working in the labs with him. But once he was at the top Donna became his PA and Martha his top assistant in the lab. Anyway around six months ago, something started happening, the Doctor, he just suddenly became ill. Rather convenient really. t was ok at first, a little tiredness, you wouldn't notice it unless you knew he. But then, he started getting these seizures. Yesterday he fell in a coma, he was barely breathing and his heart was slowing. Today he got worse. I couldn't do anything. I had to just sit there and watch him get worse." Rose felt a tear roll over her lip "Then, Martha said something; we had told her about the parallel earth, she knew everything. She said there must be a parallel her, in the other earth, and she said maybe if we could get us to you, you could help him, find the Doctor, bring him back, and he could help my Doctor"

"But how did you get there? It's impossible to travel. He sealed them off. The Doctor sealed off the parallel universes. How? How the hell did you get here?"

"We'd been working on something at Torchwood, it's too complicated to fully explain, but we used it to transport us here. Because, Martha if we don't find the Doctor then, my Doctor, John, is going to die."

**Yesterday in the Tardis**

The Doctor rang his fingers of the controls, lightly flicking a switch. "So, Ponds where shall we go?"

"It's Williams." Rory reminded for the hundredth time "we married; she exchanged her name for mine, so it is Williams. W.i.l.l.i.a.m.s. It has not, not ever has been, nor never will be Ponds." He grumbled tetchily.

The Doctor took no notice and turned to Amy "Is someone on their period?" he whispered sympathetically, gesturing towards Rory

"No!" Amy muffled an indignant laugh "Doctor, that's women. We've talked about this before, remember?"

"Oh yeah" The Doctor sulked quickly busying himself with the controls, embarrassed that such a 'genius' could get something like that so wrong. "Anyway where we are going? I was thinking the ice caves of Kalmorda… or maybe the diamond caves of Janooner the second?" The Doctor flipped a leaver and suddenly the Tardis landed, crashing onto the ground. "Where are we? Kalmorda? Janooner?" The Doctor hauled back the door and peered outside. "Oh." Was all he said "how boring."

"Boring?" Amy laughed "where are we, let me see!" she pushed the Doctor playfully out the way and stared outside "Oh, we're in London! We're back home" She grinned and sniffed as the scent of vinegar surround them "I vote we get some chips. What about you Rory?" She shouted back into the Tardis only to get a muffled reply. Once Rory had appeared he too wanted chips. "Good old English chips." as he called them, and so the Doctor led the way, to as he called it, the best fish 'n' chip shop in the universe. As they crossed the road, the Doctor stopped, he started keeling over, a searing pain piercing his left heart, and slowly he staggered to the floor.

**I hope you enjoyed this chapter; it's the first of many I assure you. The next probably will include more of characters. Please review and tell me what you think! **


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you, thank you, and thank you again for the reviews, subscriptions and favourites guys! Hope you all enjoy this one. And yes for those who were asking Jack and River both appear in this chapter… ok they have a small role in this chapter, but it will grow.**

It was less than five minutes later that the Doctor was surrounded by paramedics, the faint golden light lingering, creating a sunset daze. Leaning over his face they checked his pulse, shoving Amy and Rory to the back of the crowd, ignoring Amy's shouts of warning. Amy turned to Rory, her hands clawed at the huddle of people surrounding the Doctor, "but he's not human… he might be different. We need to get to him, before they take him away and lock him up!" she cried in desperation. But it was no use. Paramedics decked in fluorescent uniform crowed the Doctor, hauling his limp body into the awaiting ambulance, leaving Amy and Rory bewildered by the side of the road. Soon the two they began running after the ambulance, feet pounding on the pavement, leaving a small silver pocket watch unnoticed on the pavement, fallen from the Doctor's pocket.

After a long run and eventually a bus ride later, Amy and Rory entered the ward and Amy let out a sharp gasp as she saw the Doctor laying in ICU, his body supported by machines. She'd never seen him look so weak, he was almost unrecognisable, his face a shade paler than the pillows that supported it. Edging next to the bed Amy lowered herself onto his sheets.

"Doctor?" She whispered "Doctor? Can you hear me? What happened to you?"

Her voice was high and pained as she asked again "what happened?"

"Doctor? Doctor… it's us, Amy, and Rory, do you remember? Do you remember what happened to you?"

"My name" The Doctor's voice crackled, breaking the silence "is… not, Doctor" he paused taking a breath "my name… is John… John Smith. And I don't know who you are…"

**At the Smith-Jones household, two days later from the Doctor's accident and the morning after Rose had arrived… **

"Jack? It's me, Martha. You'll never guess who is back" Martha grinned as she heard the familiar twang of Jack's accent. Putting down the phone she turned to Rose

"He'll be right over. How is he?" she asked gesturing upstairs to where John lay.

"He's worse… I've never seen him like this, he's so human…"

"Yes!" Martha's face lit up in sudden realization and received a confused glare from Rose

"Sorry" she apologised noting the glare "Don't you understand? He's human. He's not _the_ Doctor anymore, he's not a timelord. He's like us. And where do we go when we're sick?"

"The hospital…"Rose suddenly grasped Martha's point "where's your nearest?"

"St Hopes." Martha replied, reminiscing on their first meeting. But now wasn't the time to remember, Martha told herself as she began dialling 999.

Jack arrived at Martha's just as the ambulance drew up outside. Racing in through the Tardis blue front door, he collided with Martha. "Martha! Thank god" he drew her into a bear hug "I thought that ambulance was for you, I thought something that happened" his voice began to audibly relax as pulled her closer, struggling Martha pushed him away, although she was pleased he cared so much, she had more on her mind. Twisting to face him she told him everything.

"So, where are they? Oh god. That was for him wasn't it? Martha, they'll take him away, they'll treat him like an experiment, he's not human."

"No… Jack, he is. He's as human as me or you. Wait…" Martha paused to reconsider what she'd just said "ok, not you, but me, or Mickey, or Rose. They'll never know, and they might be able to help him, he's dying Jack and I owe him that much."

"Martha, Miss Jones…" Jack rolled her name over his lips

"It's Mrs Jones-Smith." Martha snapped playfully.

"Well… Mrs Jones-Smith, has it not occurred to you that the Doctor may be the best person for this?" Martha nodded, her face suddenly sullen

"I tried calling. He didn't answer. Never does. The last time I saw him was years ago. He looked so tired. He just stood there, staring. I wanted him to come to the wedding, and the christening. I just wanted to see him. Wanted one more adventure… but now, he probably doesn't even remember me."

"Martha…" Jack's tone was a warning

"No, Jack, think about, how many companions have there been? He's over 900 years old, he told me. Yet all I know are you, Rose and Donna. Think how many people he must have known… he must be with someone now. I hope he is. I hope he's not alone."

"What about Donna?"

"Rose told me. Her Doctor told her, a human-timelord is impossible. Donna would have died. No…" Martha shook her head in response to Jack's silent question "he saved her. He must have…"

"It's ok" Jack placed his hand softly on Martha's "Now, better get going to that hospital." He grinned at her, leading her to her car

"Where are the triplets?" he asked as she drove

"At mum's, she loves them." Martha told him, smiling as she thought her three little terrors

"What about Mickey Mouse, can't wait to see his reaction to Rose's return!" Jack teased her

"Jack!" Martha glared over to where he sat "_Mickey" _she told him, putting emphasis on the name "is out… subcontracted by UNIT, you know the drill, he could be half away across the world by now, but they won't tell me anything, confidential and all that. How's Torchwood?"

"Confidential" Jack winked at Martha, tapping his nose "Joking Jones, you know there's always a place for you there if you want!" he grinned at her

"Thanks, but no thanks" Martha smiled as she skilfully reversed into a spot in the hospital car park.

"How's freelancing?" Jack asked

"Yeah, it's good. Do some work for UNIT now and again, but mostly it's just us too, and I love it. Mickey and I saving the world, together, equals." Martha's face filled with a smile as memories arose, as she led the way to ICU.

**At the Doctor's bedside…**

Amy and Rory had been sent away, but the Doctor had refused to notice their presence anyway, so it made no change for him. He just lay there. He couldn't remember who he was. Well, he thought he was John Smith. But he couldn't remember much else. The nurses told him it was it could come back; they thought it was the accident. The two people had come back the next day, bringing a woman called River Song; she said she was his wife, he didn't believe her. They called him 'the Doctor', what kind of name was that? A madman's name, he told himself. They brought him clothes, decorated with bowties. Madman's clothes. The nurse had eventually asked them to leave, all three looked pained, and the ginger female cried and begged him to remember her. He wanted to, he really did, but he couldn't.

Now, two days after he had arrived, a bed him had become filled. Whatever it was it was urgent, an emergency, the curtains had been drawn, and he could hear the repetitive sobs of a female. Soon after his neighbour had arrived a couple had appeared on the ward. Talking in hushed tones with the female, whose sobs had slowly creased. The commotion of the newcomers on the ward meant the entrance of a team of nurses, reassuring them the patient would be ok, and asking only family to remain. The couple began to leave the ward, his arm around her shaken body. For a moment John thought recognised her face, but he couldn't remember where from. It was only once he heard her name, being whispered lightly by the man that he wanted her. He needed her. He remembered her; well he recognised her face, and her name. Maybe, he thought, she could tell him who he was.

Martha and Jack visited consecutively, each time only being allowed to stay for a short time. It pained them both to see the Doctor looking so weak. The doctors didn't have much understanding of his condition, but it was deteriorating, Martha could tell. After much persuasion, Jack had taken Rose back to Martha's, to let her rest for a while, and now Martha was the Doctor's only companion, under strict instructions to phone if anything changed.

"So…" Martha rang he fingers over his bed, smoothing his sheets "how are you, Doctor?" Her voice wavered "Or should I call you John? John Nobel" Martha rolled his new name round her mouth "Do you remember the time you were John Smith? Do you remember I said I wouldn't leave you? Well, now it's the same." She told him reassuringly "Rose will be back soon. How do you get o, surviving on that parallel earth? Are you and Rose married? She never said." Martha's babbling ceased to a stop as she felt her pocket begin to vibrate. Seeing the contact she turned apologetically to him "I have to take this" and headed to the door. As she walked back into the ward, she heard someone call her name.

"Martha? Excuse me Miss, are you Martha Jones?" she turned to see a young man lying surrounded by tubes, looking up at her with a hopeful grin.

Stepping lightly, to not to disturb the ward; she headed over to his bed. "Yes, that's me. My name's Martha Jones." She smiled kindly at the man "What's yours?" she asked.

"John Smith. Or so they tell me."

"They?" she asked curiously.

"Yes, they. I lost my memory in the accident. Are you sure you're Martha Jones?" He asked again.

"Yes. I'm sure. Now I'm really sorry, but I have to be getting back. It's a friend of mine you see." She smiled again before starting to walk away.

"Wait!" The young man called after her, "I've had these dreams, you see. Dreams of me and you. You call me John Smith. I wanted to ask you, see if you remember me. See if you can tell me who I am."

Martha stopped walking away and instead walked slowly towards his bedside. "What dreams? What happened in them?"

"You're you, and I'm me, I suppose, but you wear this uniform which I can't quite place, and you save my life."

"I what?" Martha asked taken aback

"You save my life, and the dream ends there. You don't remember me, do you?"

His face fell, and Martha placed her hand on his, "How long have you had these dreams?"

"Ever since I got here, and they just keep on recurring. The same dream."

"What happens?" Martha asked carefully, "Tell me, everything, every detail…" And so the man began telling Martha of a story that was all too familiar…

Once he had finished Martha sat up and looked at the Doctor "That's impossible" she told him

"Impossible" The Doctor asked confused

"Yes" Martha snapped, her eyes alive with memories, some of which she wished never had happened. "It's impossible" she repeated and with that she ran from the ward, her feet and heart pounding as she raced through the corridors, stopping only once she was outside. Fishing out her phone she fiercely stabbed its keys and brought it to her ear. "Doctor…" Martha started, and felt her heart plummet as it went straight to the mechanical ringtone. "Doctor, it's me Martha. Please Doctor, just this once come back. Something has happened, something I don't understand…" Martha's voice trailed off as she saw an angry, emotional Rose marching towards her.

"What the hell are you doing out here?" Rose shouted, her London accent creeping back as her voice ascended. "I said stay with him! He might not be _your_ Doctor, but he's my Doctor. You can't just leave him, not when he's like this!"

"Rose…" Martha began

"Just leave it ok!" She snapped brushing past Martha as she began running back to the ward.

"Rose… I'm sorry… come back… Rose!" Martha shouted after her.

"Leave her Martha" Martha turned to see Jack standing behind her, his old trench coat blowing in the breeze "she's had a lot to cope with."

"I know. I'm sorry. I just needed him…"

"Him?"

"Something happened… something impossible…" Martha began telling Jack what had just happened.

**Thanks for reading :D Please, please, please review and tell me what you think, and if I should carry on with it or not Oh and just to any possible avoid confusion… when Martha's talking to 'the Doctor' she's talking to John Noble/10.2 xxx**


	3. Chapter 3

**Thanks for all the reviews guys, hope you like this chapter, just a short one…**

**Oh and to clear up any confusion John Smith is the Doctor and John Noble is 10.2.**

Martha was up in ICU. After the initial shock she now found she enjoyed John Smith's company. All he knew was his name, and half the time she had no idea what he was going on about; his words twisted and twirled entangling together until even he had to stop and reconsider what he had just said. But still she loved to listen to him and him to her. She knew that the patient next to John's sister was having an affair, that one of the nurses's fancied Daniel Craig, that the two junior doctors were together, and that the patient opposite's parents were getting divorce. And in return John knew that Jack and Rose junior were always fighting, that Johnny's favourite song was Twinkle Twinkle Little Star and that when he sang it repeatedly it irritated Martha. He also knew that Martha's ex-fiancée never turned up to the altar, and it later turned out he'd been having an affair with the receptionist. He knew that Martha hated herself for secretly preferring Johnny to the other two, and that she always tried to make sure none of the them ever felt second best. To but it lightly John knew a lot about Martha, and her little about him.

He still dreamt of her as the maid, but she had persuaded him to believe he got the idea through a program. Although she still did wonder about the dreams, and ring the Doctor everyday in vain. She couldn't help but open up to John Smith. Everyday his eyes lit up when he saw her entering the ward, and her face broke into a huge grin.

"Had anymore dreams recently?" Martha asked flouncing down into the seat next to him.

"Well" he started "there was this one."

"Yeah?" Martha motioned him for continue

"We met Shakespeare! Shakespeare! Can you imagine?"

Martha's face went ashen "Shakespeare?" she laughed covering up her shock

"Yes! And he was flirting with you!" He sniggered

Martha giggled self-consciously "Anything else, anyone else, any other dreams?" She asked

"No… AHHHHH" Pain suddenly shot through the Doctors heart, his back arching in pain. "Martha!" He screamed his arms reaching out to her. "John!" Martha leapt to his side "I'm here, I'm here" She clutched his hand "Someone help! Please help!" She yelled, her twisted in pain as she searched across the room for a doctor.

Suddenly she become aware that the curtains around John Noble's bedside had been drawn and he had been surrounded by a team of medics. Martha could see Rose being rushed out of the room, her face wet with tears and her mouth open in a frantic scream. Martha felt a hand clutch her arm, and found herself being pulled away from John Smith, her body being pulled and pushed until she was next to Rose.

"Martha" Rose collapsed onto Martha's shoulders, letting Martha draw Rose into a comforting hug. "He's going to be ok Rose. He's going to be ok" she whispered softly into Rose's ear.

The Ponds were in the Tardis. Rory was in the library, and River was, well, Amy didn't know where River was. Amy was prowling the corridors in frustration. Normally the Tardis would have stopped her, prevented her from finding what she found. That's how Amy stumbled across a new corridor, one she'd never seen before. Along it were doors, unknown to Amy they were the doors of former companions. Selected from their original positions and placed in this winding corridor, Amy glanced at the doors, and walked further down the corridor before she came to the last four.

Giving one a push its oak panelling fell open revealing a largest room. Although it was sparsely decorated its walls were covered with pictures. Some faded and yellowing and others only a couple of years old. There was one of a young girl leaning against a leather clad man, grinning in front a phenomenal ice glacier. Then one of the same girl, but older, and a youngish man on a rollercoaster, the picture was the kind they sell to you at the end of the ride, the ones you might throw away. But this person had kept theirs; keeping forever a frozen shot of huge smile the man was giving the girl, and the mirroring smile she was giving him. There were more snaps of the two scattered across the walls. There were ones of the same man in the rollercoaster, a number of him and a red-haired girl, and some more of him and another girl. Before Amy could take in the rest of the photos, she suddenly heard the faint ring of phone. Moving towards the wardrobe in the corner of the room, Amy heard the ring slowly increase. Hauling open the ancient door Amy peered inside. Reaching down below she pulled out various items, before she felt the vibrating phone. Pulling it out of the pile she flipped it open and caught the end of an answer message "_please Docto_r…"

"Wait!" Amy's voice rang out vain and the message stopped. Without thinking she pressed redial and a female's voice echoed through the phone.

"Doctor? Oh Doctor say something!" Martha nattered hysterically as she was greeted with silence "Where have you been all this time?" Suddenly her voice dropped and become soft and sincere "Doctor you've got to get down here. It's Rose, she's back Doctor! Doctor?" Martha's voice trailed off, as Amy stood on the other end not knowing what to say.

"Hi." Was all Amy said at the other end

"Doctor?"

"No, I'm Amy"

_Amy, oh…another companion. Really doesn't take him long to replace us these days _Martha thought nervously "Look, Amy could you please put my through to the Doctor? Tell him it's Martha, and it's urgent."

"I can't…"

"Can't? Why are you ok?" Martha asked concerned

"Yes" Amy replied "I'm ok, but he isn't."

"What's wrong with him? Oh god what's he done now?"

"I think…" Amy began, tears falling silently down her cheeks "I think he's dying…"

"What do you mean? Where is he? Are you on earth? Can you get him to me?" Martha began firing questions at Amy

"Yes, I'm in London. He's in hospital, in St Hopes…"

"St Hopes?" Martha's eyes widen as everything began to fall into place "Now?"

"Yes."

"Can you get here easily; I mean can you get to St Hopes easily?"Martha asked and without waiting for an answer told Amy "I'm in the foyer, near the café. Meet me here as soon possible."

**Please review! Every little one means so much xxx**


	4. Chapter 4

**Thanks for the reviews and subscriptions guys, muchly appreciated! Hope you enjoy this chapter, I know it's short but it just mainly sums up a lot of what's been happening…**

Amy entered the hospital foyer her eyes combing the room for Martha. Finally her eyes rested on a young woman lingering near the back wall. To most she would look like any other visitor, however Amy glimpsed something unusual, although the woman was young her eyes her old and worn, filled with dark memories. Slowly Amy advance towards the woman, seeing Amy advance the woman took a step forward revealing another woman behind her. As Amy got closer she realised they were both women from the pictures in the Doctor's bedroom.

"Hi" Martha smiled amiably at Amy, taking in her bundle of auburn hair, and wondering how much of a shock it had been when Amy realised she wasn't the first companion. "I'm Martha, Martha Jones, and this is Rose." Martha said pushing Rose forward.

"Well hello" Amy greeted the two "I'm Amy Pond, I travel with the Doctor"

"We're former companions" Martha explained "Now, let's get down to business" She told them leading the way to a small coffee table.

As Amy and Rose followed Rose turned to Amy "Does he ever talk about us?" She asked in a curious whisper "Or did you think you were the only one?"

Amy looked at Rose, unsure of how much to say "He never mentions his past, not properly, only snippets now and then. Only River knows everything."

"Who's River?"

"His wife. And my daughter, it's complicated." Amy babbled, not noticing Rose's face fall when she heard the word 'wife'.

"So" Martha cut across the twos conversation "Amy, I think I know what's happening, well only from a little help from Rose, and Captain Jack"

"Who's Jack?" Amy asked curiously

"A flirt. You'll meet him later" Martha told her dismissingly then continued "Years back the Doctor, well he had this Meta-crisis twin, the Doctor but with one heart. He left the Meta-crisis him and Rose in a parallel universe, but you see a Timelord's brain can't survive with just one heart. That's what happened to the Meta-crisis…"

"John" Rose interrupted aggravated "his name's John Noble and he's not some kind of half-being, he's real, he has memories and thoughts, and he has a life…" Rose's voice faded and tears began rolling silently over her lips and falling onto her collar.

Martha wordlessly let her hand fall and clutch Rose's, before continuing "The heart thing started to affect John a while back, ever since his heart has been drawing energy from the Doctor to keep John alive. The Doctor couldn't have, well most probably didn't know this..." Martha paused; she suspected he possibly knew what had started happening. However she knew her Doctor would have wanted Rose to have the last few months oblivious and alone with her love. Because she was Rose, and Martha knew the pain he must have felt leaving her again.

"The Doctor collapsed last Friday right?" Amy nodded in return to Rose's question "That's when John got worse too. His heart must have been trying to keep him alive, grasping energy from the only place it could, the Doctor."

"You don't think he did it on purpose?" Amy asked

"No. John's the Doctor, well not exactly, but he has his memories, his feelings, he'd never harm him…" Rose murmured quietly

"The Doctor…" Martha questioned Amy "Does he have dark floppy hair, and green eyes that somehow look older than his years?"

Amy nodded "Like your eyes." She told Martha "you looks so young yet your eyes…"

Martha touched the top of her soft eye- lid, as if she could feel their age. She knew why they were old, because of the things she'd seen in the year that never was, yet Amy's comment made her want to smile, because it made her sound like she was at all comparable to him.

"And yours" Amy broke the silence looking into Rose's eyes "your eyes, they have this glow. His do sometimes too…" Martha flicked a swift look over at Rose's eyes; she had never noticed the faint golden glow that misted over Rose's eyes.

"Amy…" Martha started "I know him." Her mind casted back to John Smith lying in the bed, if only she'd known before that he was the Doctor "He remembered me…"

"He remembered _you_?" Amy asked astonished

"In his dreams, he remembered when he turned human…"

"Human?" Rose and Amy asked in sync.

"Yes. It was a long time ago" Martha explained patiently "The Doctor, he had to, to avoid being captured. He forced his soul, his identity into this fob watch. He couldn't remember me, but he did dream, like he's doing now, of the past. He dreamt of Rose, the Tardis and the Cybermen. But he couldn't remember me…" Martha's voice dropped as she remembered those painful months. "Anyway" _Stop it Martha, just stop it._ She told herself "I think that's what's happening now."

"So to turn him back we need to find a _fob watch_?" Amy asked puzzled

"Yes… but it's not that simple" Amy jumped as the similar twang of Jack's accent interrupted the three's conversation. "Hey" He winked noticing Amy "You must be Ms Pond. I'm Jack, Captain Jack" Jack introduced himself and slid down into a spare seat.

"What to do mean it's not that simple?" Rose asked, barring Jack from beginning one of his famous flirting marathons.

"Rose" Jack started his voice trying to comfort her "John's training the Doctor's energy, for either one to survive the other must die…"

"But…" Rose whimpered "that's not fair… Please Martha, Jack there must be something you can do! He can't die. I can't go back there without him… I can't lose him again…" Taking look back at the group Rose started walking away from the table, her face wet with tears and the calls of Martha and Jack playing in her ears. She couldn't think straight, the lights were blinding her eyes and voices mixed into one. All she could see was him. She could hear him shouting 'Run!' and feel him grabbing her hand as he on their first meeting. She could sense the pain she felt when he first left her. She could see him running towards her, his feet pounding on the pavement, only to fall after a shot from the enemy. It was always the Daleks who tried to draw them apart. She could always blame them for ruining her life. But this time it was different. It wasn't some alien trying to take over the world. It the battle for life between the two men she'd die for. And now she had to choose. Which one would live and who would die.

**Thanks for reading, please review with your thoughts!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Well hello again my lovely readers! Wow, all I can say is wow! Thank you so much for the ridiculous number of story alerts this has had, ok it might not seem like loads to some of you fantastic writers out there but for me it is! Anyway just to let you all know I've started writing another fic called 'A Rose by Any Other Name' which is the prequel story to this and is about Rose and John Noble in Pete's world. I'd love it if you could take a look and read and review it! – I know sorry self promoting, but it is linked to this story. But anyway back to this story…**

Crowds swarmed the corridors, they didn't notice Rose and she didn't notice them. To them she was just another emotional visitor, her woes no larger than those of anyone else's, she was just another person to look past as they tried to rush through. The horrific noise the crowds of visitors made was barely observed by Rose, their voices instead creating a muffled whisper. She wanted to cry, but she couldn't, she couldn't cry even though she knew both the men she loved were lying, dying in beds above her. She wanted everything to be ok, she wanted to wake up and be lying next to John, or the Doctor to appear, fresh and unscathed, grinning and telling her to run. But she knew that couldn't happen, she couldn't save them both, no one could. She knew who would really die and who would really live, if either survived. And that's why she walked straight to John's bed, her eyes fixed on the pale blue nurses' station at the other end of the ward. That's why it was his hand she cradled in her own, ignoring the frequent beeps and the steady hum of machines. Tenderly she stroked his wedding ring, it was so different to her own, yet she knew if she slid it off the inside would reveal the small hidden engraving that her own held.

-DW-

"You shouldn't have told her." Martha accused Jack, twirling her spoon around her coffee, trying to distract herself from Rose's emotional exit.

"Well what was I supposed to do? Leave her thinking everything would be alright?" Jack asked, his briskness hiding his concerned about Rose. He hadn't wanted to tell her news. If it was up to him Rose and John would be together forever. But then again he couldn't just lie to her, he'd thought it would be better if she knew in advance, could prepare herself. He didn't know it was.

"Yes!" Martha sighed exasperated, shaking her spoon is frustration and spraying Jack with small droplets of coffee "Let her have a few more days of ignorance."

_But it's not going to be a few more days_ Jack thought to himself, deciding not to spread light on this fact to Martha. Although she was hiding it well he knew she was as aware as he was that if they didn't do something fast they would lose them both.

Suddenly Amy who had been sitting in a subdued silence for the past few minutes spoke up "I've got friends, in the Tardis, River would know what to do…" and with that Amy left them, leaving Jack paused, his mouth open in midsentence.

"_River_?" Martha mouthed silently at Jack who shook his head in equal confusion and leant back in his chair waiting for Amy. During the wait Jack preoccupied Martha with tales form Torchwood and Martha spilled a few secrets of her own:

"Mickey really _cried after_ watching Toy Story 3!" Jack said in amazement

"Yes" Martha nodded starting to laugh "wasn't as bad as Titanic though, took him to see it in 3D, we had to leave the cinema before they had even crashed!"

Jack rolled his head back laughing at Mickey's whimpiness "And this" he asked Martha "is the same guy who at this very moment is involved in a secret mission fighting for UNIT?" He asked incredulous

"Oh yes" Martha laughed "Put him in front of a ten foot alien on a killing spree and he's fearless, but place him in front of the Teletubbies and he's in tears when one of them falls over!"

Martha and Jack's conversation was abruptly interrupted when Amy finally arrived, a middle aged woman and youngish man following her. As they approached the group the middle aged woman broke away from the group and strode over to a confused Jack. "Captain! Looking good as always!" River flirted, pulling him up from his seat, pawing tenderly at his chest and kissing him on the cheek.

"Well hello" He winked, whilst mouthing over his shoulder to Martha 'Do I know her?' Martha shook her head giggling slightly, glad to have the usual Jack back.

"Her name's River Song." Amy informed him, pulling River's arm slightly and pushing Rory out from behind her.

"Oh look" Jack sniggered quietly to Martha as Amy pushed Rory forward "if it isn't Mickey Mouse point two!"

"Jack!" Martha muffled a laugh and turned kindly to Rory "Hi Rory, I'm Martha, and this" she gestured to Jack "is Captain Jack Harkness."

"Hey" Jack muscled himself in through the group "Captain's just fine!" he reassured Rory, his voice slightly superior as he shook Rory's hand. Then he turned back to River "So you're River Song, nice to be properly introduced, although I think I prefer your kinda welcome more" He winked at her "So your single?" Jack asked flirtatiously and without letting her reply said "A lovely girl like you wondering with the Doctor can't get out much can you? If you want someone normal" Martha let out a muffled snort, as Amy and Rory's eyes grew darker "just give me a call."

"I'm married" River told him kindly

"And she's my daughter" Rory stated looking him in the eye.

"Your DAUGHTER? But she's old enough to be…" Jack stopped short as Martha dug her elbow in his ribs.

"Yes" Amy glared "OUR daughter."

Jack goggled at her "Are you like _him_ then?"

"Him?"

"The Doctor. Do you regenerate or something? Because I have to say you're looking very good for your age, whatever it may be" Jack started to wink at Amy before catching Rory's stern glare.

"_No_, it's very complicated…" Amy started

"It always is with the Doctor." Martha laughed slightly; trying to break the awkward silence that penetrated the air "_Anyway_ let's get back to _him_. We need to find this fob watch."

"_Fob watch_" Rory mouthed bemused over at Amy

"Yes" Martha nodded catching Rory "A fob watch, it…"

"Timelords use them to become human, it stores their identities" River interrupted Martha

"How? How did _you_ know that?" Martha asked her face scrunched in confusion

"Spoilers" River smiled sadly letting Amy silently reach out and softly grasp her hand.

"_Who_ are _you_? Martha asked her voice suddenly rising in confusion "Why do _you _know about the fob watch?"

"_Martha_" Martha turned suddenly Jack's hand catching on her arm "Cool it." he told her looking her in the eye. "Just cool it ok?"

Biting her lip Martha turned slowly back to River "Look, I'm sorry, it's just been a bit…" Martha trailed off creating the hanging silence once again.

"It's fine" River mumbled softly after awhile "we're all feeling it."

-DW-

Clutching John's hand in exhaustion and concern Rose let her eyes wander the ward until they fell on the body of a young man. The Doctor. She'd been with him through two regenerations, and each time she'd been there to told his hand and tell him it would all be ok. But she hadn't been there for this one, and she wish she had been. What if he was different? What if the Doctor couldn't remember her like she remembered him? He obviously didn't still like her, in the way she still liked him. He'd got married for god's sake, she told herself. Married. He had got married. The one thing he said he would never do. Settle down. Now he'd done it with someone other than her and it hurt, it hurt like hell. She glimpsed back to John, John Noble, her husband and the supposed love of her life. It was tearing her in half to see the two men she loved dying because of each other. For a moment she wanted to run and switch the Doctor's machine off, let John live. But she couldn't, she couldn't bring herself to end the life of someone she loved so dearly. Although it was hard to imagine the Doctor as her Doctor she was trying. Reigniting memories; BAD WOLF, the end of the world, apple grass, Doomsday, Donna Noble, Jack Harkness, Martha Jones… All these people wouldn't be here without the Doctor. They'd be nothing. She couldn't just kill the man who'd saved them. Rose felt a tear creep down her cheek. Suddenly she wanted nothing more than to hear the sound of the Tardis and let the Doctor sweep her off her feet. Let him tell her it would all be ok, no-one would die and that they would travel forever, together.

-DW-

After much discussion between the small group it was decided Martha and River were to search for the fob watch, as they both knew what to look for, and Jack and the others were to deal with Torchwood and UNIT.

"I'm sorry about earlier" Martha spoke briskly, her arms deep in rubbish as she tried to break the silence hanging between the two as they sorted through the piles of rubbish collected on the street where the Doctor had collapsed.

River nodded and murmured quietly, busying herself with the collection of debris scattered along the side of the road.

"How do you know him? How did you start travelling with him?" Martha asked gently curiously

"From here and there, it's complicated, we're complicated." River corrected herself

Martha nodded knowingly "It always is, isn't it? I mean he didn't even mean to pick me up, one trip he said. That's all, one trip…" Martha babbled trying to keep the conversation going

"You said he remembered you?" River broke Martha's constant babble. Martha nodded suddenly silent "What did he say? Why did he remember _you_? What about, what about, what about me, or Amy, or Rory?" River rushed her words, letting them slur. She didn't know why, she was never like this, for a moment River tried, she tried to stop herself but she couldn't. She couldn't because she wanted to know, she wanted to know why he remembered Martha, why he couldn't remember her, his wife. Their past and future and the bits in-between were always complicated, yet they had never been through this before.

"I don't know…" Martha muttered taking in what River had said "it shouldn't have been me, it should have been Rose… I'm not special… I'm not the one he would remember…"

Hearing Martha River suddenly realised what she'd done, leaning forward, away from the rubbish, River stared into Martha's eyes "I'm sorry Martha; I didn't mean that, I didn't mean any of that. I just can't stand this. I can't stand to see him like this. My Doctor, my amazing man, trapped, dying. He thought you were brilliant. Martha, he really thought you were fantastic. I used to hear him, sometimes at night he'd sneak out and I'd just hear him in library, crying."

"He still does that?"

"He used to do that with you?" River asked curiously

Martha nodded

"I could hear him crying, talking about you and other people…"

"Rose?"

River nodded in agreement "Who is she? Who was Rose Tyler?"

Martha paused before taking a small breath "Rose Tyler is... Rose Tyler, she's" Martha stopped before turning to stare uncomfortable away "just Rose" Martha told River finally and for a moment River opened her mouth to disagree but seeing Martha's worn smile she decided not to.

"Why does he cry now?" Martha asked, diverting the conversation away from the direction of Rose.

"I don't know." River mimicked Martha and turned her head away. She did know, she could remember. Last time she had seen him he'd cried. She had found him, knees high up in a bundle on a chair, his head between his arms and his sleeve wet with tears. He was crying for her this time. Not for Rose, nor Martha, nor Donna, nor all the others he had lost. No, this time it was her, and she didn't know why. All she knew is that he knew something about her near future she didn't.

**Ok, I'm leading to a BIG storyline for River, so keep tuned! Hope you all enjoyed it and review! – Please review guys it encourages me to carry on and keep going. I'm not going to update much soon as too many exams and life getting in the way. **


	6. Chapter 6

**Hello people :) Sorry for the time taken to update – too much work! Do my teachers not understand the meaning of the word "holiday"? Luckily I had most of the day off today because I got braces and am now in continual pain… **

River entered the Tardis. It had been a long nonstop day and Jack had turned up half way through their search dragging Gwen and Ianto, and a selection of cake. But even Jack's endless flirting and a dosage of cake and coffee couldn't lift her sprits. She couldn't chase from her mind the idea of him, the Doctor, lying dying while there was nothing she could do.

As she cautiously moved across its floor the Tardis breathed a small sigh of relief, creating slight vibrations through the console. _How is he?_ Tardis asked softly.

River ignored the question, focusing instead on running her hands through her immense mane.

_He can regenerate. _The Tardis told her soothingly

River shook her head gently "He can't, he hasn't got the energy. What can I do?"

The Tardis hummed quietly, filling the console room with soft vibrations.

"Help me." River whispered angrily, scrunching her eyes close and using the harsh metal banister enclosing the console to steady herself as she stood shaking. "Tell me what to do." She paused listening to the basic drone of the Tardis "I SAID TELL. ME. WHAT. TO. DO." River yelled mimicking the Doctor as she banged her fist against the console, unconsciously letting a small whimper escape as she nursed her bruised fist.

Unwittingly the Tardis creased her hum to silence.

_What? _River asked wordlessly, drumming her fingers on the console.

For a moment it seemed to River the Tardis was stubbornly holding her silence, until she realised the dull drone emerging from the library. River raised her eyebrows slightly, opening her mouth to oppose but closing it gradually and letting the Tardis hum lead her to library.

_Why here?_ River asked running her hands over the smooth leather spines, lightly flicking the dust that lined the cases. _Why here? _She asked again _what am I supposed to do? _She let her eyes skim over the tan spines, taking in the golden lettering until her eyes feel on the top row. A small cardboard box sat snugly in between the age old copies of forgotten novels. _That?_ River asked _Is that what you want? _ Without waiting for a reply she griped the tall wooden ladder that lined the bookcase and began climbing, her feet slipping precariously on the rungs until finally she grasped the box she needed. Cradling it to her chest she brought it down the ladder with her, letting it drop from her arms into the soft cushioning of an armchair as her feet touched the ground. Peeling its faded tape River carefully she rummaged her hand inside the box. Delicately she fingered the objects the box had to offer pulling them out one by one, until she reached the reason the Tardis had led her there.

In River's hand lay her life in the way of a small blue book. This book had everything from her childhood to spoilers for her husband's future. Yet River knew, she certain in fact that the exact same book was tucked in leather satchel that swung from her shoulder. Uncertainly she felt down to wear the satchel rested, fingering it lightly and making out the hard shape.

"Spoilers" She whispered to herself forbidding her curious hand from opening the diary that now lay in her lap. It was too late already her fingers were already flicking through its and her eyes taking in its contents. "Spoilers" She whispered again but this in defeat, she was already absorbed.

The book was identical to the one in her satchel in every way, describing the events right up to this day. There was the coffee stain from Amy making tea, the doodles from her childhood, and the marks from her mistakes. It was the last page that was different. That she, River Song, did not remember writing that page. But she read it. She read every last letter even though her head shouted spoilers at every word:

_This is me, writing for you, myself River Song. This is spoiler for you, the kind of spoiler you wouldn't let the Doctor know, but what I want you to know. I know you're sitting there, your legs crossed with this diary scrawled upon them._

River looked down at her crossed legs.

_I know you've just met Martha Jones and you're wondering how many more companions thee out there, still waiting for their Doctor. I know you're wondering if he'll ever do that to you, ever leave you. And still now I don't really know anymore than you do. But I do know right now you're more concerned about him than you. I know you want to hold his hand, to see, to laugh with him, but you still can't bring yourself to visit him, because he wouldn't remember. Now you're wondering how I know this. Because I'm you. River Song I am you. You in the future. _

River let the book fall from her lap and slam shut with a bang_ "_How?" She asked the empty room, receiving no more than a quite hum from the Tardis in reassurance. Rather a moment River drew her eyes back to the pages letting the elder River explain:

_There is this thing, the Fob Watch that you and Martha couldn't find, without it the Doctor can't be the Doctor. That Fob Watch holds his sole, his real timelord sole. You need to find it or he'll die; he and John will both die. I know you know this already, because I knew this. Writing is so 'timey-wimey', it's like a circle; I wouldn't know what to write for you without reading it first like you are now, and you wouldn't know what to write in the future without reading this. _

Reading the "timey-wimey" Present River gave a small laugh_, _that was her Doctor.

_At present I'm in a library with the Doctor and the Fob Watch. This is where you need to be. _

"How?"

The diary answered; _Don't worry I'm about to tell you – I'm you remember? On your wrist you have a Vortex Manipulator. Use it. 51__st__ Century, Central London. Coordinates: 01091251. Find a Strackman Lux, head of Felam Lux Corporation, he is looking for an archeologist to accompany his expedition to The Library. Once you're in make sure before you go to The Library that you've sent a message physic paper telling the Doctor where to meet…_

"But where will I get one from in the first place…" River started before reading on;

_Take his silly. It's on the console. That way there will be no mix up in transmission. Now get his fob watch and bring it to him, how you do this up to you._

_I'm sorry I can't be of more use, but I'm only telling you what I got told._

_Good luck, sweetie._

**Please excuse if I write a character out of character, or my Torchwood references are awful – I've watched bits and bobs on Youtube so are not really up to date! Thanks for reading and Tardis cookies for those who review ;) *Also for those who are going to review and be like "but that would be an old Doctor's Fob Watch" in this story the Fob Watch works for any Doctor, it's linked to the closest Tardis so gets its information from there, bizarre I know but I needed an explanation! **


	7. Chapter 7

**Murray's in the final! Yey :D I write this whilst listening to his match with my fingers crossed.**

Pressing the Vortex Manipulator firmly River closed her eyes and waited. It took less than fifteen minutes before River tripped out of the vortex and found herself on London soil. Using the closest brick wall to steady herself, she picked herself up dusted herself down. It felt strange being back to the place of her childhood. Well, not back exactly, she was still a hundred years or so out but still this Earth was so much more advanced than the premature Earth her parents were from. Checking herself in the nearest shop window River ran a hand over her mane and flicked an essence of lip gloss over her grim smile. _The Felam Lux Corporation _River murmured looking around her surroundings. There it was towering up into the clouds. The Felam Lux Corporation. If only it was this easy most of the time. Taking a deep breath River straightened up and walked purposely in the building coming face to face with a row of receptionists.

"Can I help you?" A small red faced man confronted her, peering up at her from behind a large computer screen.

"I'm looking for a Strack… St… Strackman Lux" River stuttered trying to recall the name.

"Do you have an appointment?"

"No, but…"

"I'm sorry you can't see Mr Lux without an appointment."

"But…"

"I can book you one if you want. Next available slot is this time next year…" The man fiddled intently with the keys on the computer.

"Look" River snapped causing the man to jolt and shudder the desk in the process "I'm Professor River Song. An _archaeologist_. I'm here about the job."

"Oh" The man gawped, realisation suddenly hitting him "why didn't you say so?"

River grimaced exasperated "Just show me up will you?"

Meekly the man nodded and beckoned her to follow him through a thick metal door behind the reception.

Considering you had to wait a year to see him, Strackman did not look particularly busy. In the middle of doing the crossword, he didn't look up until River cleared her throat and stared pointy at the top of his forehead. "Do you have an appointment?"

Stubbornly River shook her head "I'm here about the job. I'm an archaeologist."

"I don't remember recruiting you" Strackman peered at River suspiciously from behind the newspaper.

"That's because you didn't. I found you."

"Well" Strackman got up from his desk and began heading towards the doorway. "I'm sorry Miss but here at The Felam Lux Corporation we only employ the _best_. And only I choose who the _best_ is." Strackman stressed the word best, spitting into River's ear as he hissed it irritably. "If you could see yourself out." With that Strackman turned began to walk back to his desk humming a strange monotone.

"You haven't seen my references."

"I don't need to. Sorry miss."

"Firstly it's not Miss, it's Professor River Song." River interrupted "and secondly I'll go to another corporation who will be just as happy to have my expertises and tell them exactly what kind of place you run here."

The last sentence stopped Strackman in his tracks and reluctantly he turn around, receiving the psychic paper River had thrust into his hands. As he read it Strackman's eyes widened slightly at each word. "Professor at Oxford… participated in the recovery of Stone Henge… And dated its exact construction… recommended by Her Majesty… rediscovered Queen Victoria's diamond tiara…" Strackman's readings dissolved into mumblings. "Well Professor you certainly do seem to have a lot of experience. We'll offer you £40,000 for the trip, double if find anything of particular interest to us. Do we have a deal?" Strackman stuck out his hand and with some hesitation River shook it. "The expedition's next month. We have training ever Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday; you'll be expected to attend every session. You'll be needing accommodation I expect?"

River nodded

"I'll book up a suite at The Savoy. They do personal favours for members of the Lux family." Strackman smirked as his shook River's hand a final time "Anyway Professor we look forward to working with you."

"Likewise" River nodded smiling insincerely.

"I will get my assistant to talk you through the expedition. MISS EVANGELISTA!" Strackmen yelled calming only once a pretty young woman appeared in the door way.

"Yes Mr Lux?"

"This is Professor Song; she's going to be our new archaeologist for the expedition. I'd like to talk her through the expedition and do the forms." With that Strackman turned his back on the woman and went back to his crossword.

"Is he always that bad?" River smirked once they were outside the office.

"Bad?" Miss Evangelista asked innocently.

River raised her eyebrows sardonically "Never mind. Have you worked here long?"

Miss Evangelista nodded "Over a year almost."

"And you are?"

"Mr Lux's Personal Assistant. His personal everything."

"So this expedition?"

"I'm afraid can't discuss it with you until you've signed you Personal Experience contract."

"I'm not signing any contracts. That's how I come. Free. Just tell me."

"But I'm afraid Professor it's against the corporation's agreements to discuss the expedition with anyone who hasn't signed their Personal Experience contract."

"Well, I'm afraid that if you don't just tell me I'm going to walk out that door" River pointed at the nearest fire escape for emphasis "and you'll have no-one to do this precious _expedition_."

Flustered Miss Evangelista asked once more and was rewarded with the same response. "Ok Professor it's to investigate the disappearance of several thousand people in The Library. It happened years ago, before Mr Lux was alive; there was a message from the library. Just one. "The lights are going out". Then the computer sealed the planet, and there was nothing for a hundred years."

"Why now? Why has the corporation suddenly decided to do the expedition now?"

"It's taken that long, just to decode the seals and get back in." Miss Evangelista paused considering what to say "there was one more thing…"

"Yes?"

"There was one last message. 4022 saved. No survivors. That was the exact number of people who were in the library when it was sealed."

"But how can 4022 be saved if there were no survivors?" River's voice rose in fixation "How is that possible?"

"I don't know. I'm just his assistant I don't know anything." Miss Evangelista's bottom lip wobbled and biting it back she led River into a conference room.

River worked at the corporation for the next month, spending her evenings mostly alone in her suite at the Savoy and her days working continually. When she wasn't training she was studying at the British Library, learning all she could about the Lux family and the Library. Know your enemy.

As the date towards the expedition loomed River wrote the final the entry to her diary.

**Thanks for all the story alerts/favourites and reviews and COME ON ANDY! **


	8. Chapter 8

**Hi guys, last chapter I'm going to do for a while now, as its summer and have a lot of work and a two week trip to Greece to occupy me! Anyway I know some people were concerned about where I'm going with this but you'll all see soon enough, and don't worry I'm not neglecting the other characters I'm just focussing on River for a chapter or two…**

The journey to the Library took days, weeks even, and River didn't completely "gel" with her companions. Miss Evangelista followed her around like a puppy; her forehead peaked in a continuous concerned frown. And the others…well Anita and the Daves didn't exactly provide her with quality entertainment.

It was the day before she landed that River wrote the physic message, allowing time for any particular adventure the Doctor had been on to draw to end and so they could collide on the same day. Oh she couldn't wait to see him. She really couldn't wait. The excitement of seeing him again had been building up, slowly as journey's end drew closer. As the ship touched ground she tried to compose herself, she here for a purpose,_ not_ a social call.

At first she let Strackman lead her through the Library, his dull voice describing each nock and cranny, each new shelf of books, for a man who had never been here he certainly knew his way around. They had been taught it, he told her, learnt the maps of the library as they'd learnt their arithmetic when they were children. Any other day and she might have been interested, and would not have had to force those murmurs every now and again. It was an hour or so until she sensed him, just as Strackman had started to describe the shop they were about to enter. With a smile she over took Strackman and threw open the wooden door with all her might.

"Hello Sweetie."

But it wasn't him.

Where was the bow-tie, the hair, the boyish grin?

But was the red-head girl beside him confirmed it, "_Doctor_" Donna spoke up as he began to rant.

River stood her ground, her face fixed with a knowing smile, she let him rage, shout about shadows and let Strackman moan about authorization.

"… Professor River Song, archaeologist." She introduced herself with a smile, she was good at smiling, smiling to hide things, to hide the fact he didn't seem remember her, didn't seem to know her.

"…Pretty Boy, you're with me." In the mist of chaos she called him with authority, the way she would call him now; he didn't response. She looked at him with a query, he was doing a pretty good job of pretending he didn't know her, it hurt, just a bit.

"Shall we do diaries?" Later she flicked him a smile as she cradled the diary in her hands. Then she realised, as her eyes caught his, that it wasn't him. That he had never met her and that he was young. His eyes held less scars than the eyes she knew, and his voice lighter and careless, well more careless than the voice she knew. It hurt; it felt like he was sticking a knife in her heart and casually twisting it, he didn't know her and he didn't care. She thought it would be different, that he'd remember and gather her into one his hugs, telling her how much he had missed her and how he was going to fix everything. Instead it was up to her.

She listened to him fire orders, throwing him a remark of support every now and again. She saw him eye her diary; casually handle its fragile cover, pining to read inside. It was then she stole up behind him, dipping her hand inside his trench coat pocket for a moment and fingering the silver watch. She let the coat fall back onto its position beside him, before whisking the book out of his grasp.

"…It's against the rules…" She told him "…Your rules." She fingered the fob-watch in her palm, tracing its delicate cravings with her nails. She had it now, she owned the one thing that could help cure her husband and yet she didn't want to go. She wanted to stay, to help this Doctor, to get to know him, to understand him. For a moment she stood alone, the fob-watch in her hand and her finger on the Vortex Manipulator. It would be so easy to go home.

"Professor Song?" Miss Evangelista's voice caused River to turn.

"Yes?"

"It's just I was wondering…" She bit her lip eyeing River in a ponderous glance "Can I help with anything?"

"No…" River was quick to dismiss her, relenting only once she heard Miss Evangelista's disappointed sigh "Why don't ask Dave, or Anita, or Mr Lux?"

"They're busy, I've asked. I suppose there's nothing much I'm good at…"

"No… Look… Why don't you…" River scanned the room for something for her to do "Actually, Miss Evangelista I'd be really grateful if you could do something for me…"

"Yes?" Her eyes perked up it surprise.

"This watch" River outstretched her arm to show Miss Evangelista the silver watch lying in her palm. "If I give you this and my Vortex Manipulator would you be able to take it to where I ask you to?"

"Well…" Miss Evangelista eyed her warily "but do you have a _Vortex Manipulator_?" The words fell hesitantly off her tongue, as if they were new words and she was trying them out for the first time.

"There's not much time for questions. Just do it would you? Please?" Rivers gave her a look of such urgency that Miss Evangelista felt obliged only to nod and take the objects carefully into her hands. Swiftly River whispered the coordinates into her ear and Miss Evangelista gave her a polite nod of assurance and the two parted ways.

It was not long after Miss Evangelista noticed the small room leading off from the main space. "Um... excuse me... this might be important actually…" she tried to tell the group but her voice was lost to the room, over swept with the conversations of others.

Quietly and alone she entered room and just before doing so pressed the Vortex Manipulator.

**BAM**

Miss Evangelista stumbled and collapsed on top of a woman.

"Are you ok?" The woman helped Miss Evangelista, allowing her to lean on her fragile frame. "Was that a Vortex Manipulator?" the woman asked eyeing the object on wrapped around Miss Evangelista wrist.

"Um… yes…sorry… excuse me; I'm looking for Martha _Jones_?" Miss Evangelista read stumbling over the small note she held with the details.

"Martha Jones?" The woman eyed Miss Evangelista suspiciously before breaking into a smile "You're in luck, I happen to be working with her at the mo, I'm Gwen, Gwen Cooper. Now why don't we get you a cup of tea and a sit a down?" Gwen wrapped her arms around Miss Evangelista shivering frame and for a moment she allowed herself to rest her head on Gwen's shoulder and breathe. "That's it, breathe deeply" Gwen smiled encouragingly "Now why don't you tell me why you have a Vortex Manipulator and are looking for Martha?"

Sighing Miss Evangelista told Gwen snippets of her story and finally produced the fob-watch for Gwen to see. "Oh this is the famous fob-watch now?" Gwen asked before taking it from Miss Evangelista weak grasp. "Now why don't I take you to Martha, she can check you over and you can explain this to her?"

"No…" Miss Evangelista shook her head slowly "I've got to get back, River, Mr Lux, they'll be waiting…"

"Are you sure?"

She nodded shyly before fingering the Vortex Manipulator and pressing it firmly.

Maybe if she hadn't failed gym, if she'd learnt how to land carefully after a jump, maybe if she had been quick enough to steady herself, maybe if she wasn't thinking of other things, it wouldn't have happened. Just maybe. But it did, and she stumbled as she landed, landing right into a nest of Vashta Nerada. In seconds she was gone.

River Song knew by the screams it was her. As they tumbled into the room she surveyed the skeleton looking for the watch, for a second she was satisfied it was gone, but then realisation hit her, so was Miss Evangelista.

There was no time to mourn her; to the Doctor she was just another one, just another person whose life would be lost today. She followed him round, helping, issuing orders, saving lives. Just like old times, she wanted to say. But he didn't have any "old times" memories yet. It hard to persuade her crew to trust him, this man she trusted with her life, anyone's life, when he didn't recognise her, and wouldn't trust her with his.

He thought she'd stolen his screwdriver, her River Song, his wife, steal his screwdriver.

"You just gave it to me."

"Why?" He asked his voice full of suspicion "Why would I do that?"

She wanted to say "because you're my husband, because I'm your wife. Because my parents are your best friends. Because we love each other." But she couldn't.

But then Strackman practically spelled it out to him "…You're like an old married couple." And his face turned in to a look of such disgust that she wanted to cry. To crawl into a ball and cry like a child.

But he was still him. He was still the Doctor. And she was still River Song. And together they ran.

They ran through the library, they ran to save lives. Because, she thought, that's what he does, he runs and he saves lives, and today she was doing it with him. Today although she didn't know it, yet, she was going to save his life twice.

Because she loved him and now she knew that he would always know that she did.

With care the Doctor placed River Song's notebook and sonic on the ledge overlooking the Library.

Together he and Donna turned to leave "Why? Why would I give her my screwdriver?" He asked turning back and pulling Donna with him "Why would I do that? Thing is, future me had years to think about it, all those years to think of a way to save her, and what he did was give her a screwdriver! Why would I do that?" Realisation hit him and frantically he ripped open the screwdriver to reveal a row of green lights "Oh! Oh! Oh, look at that, I'm very good!"

"What have you done?" Donna asked confused.

"Saved her!" He grinned and began running before swiftly swerving back and collecting the diary, even if he didn't read it, he couldn't leave it here. That was River Song, and she deserved her place in the Tardis too.

**Just to explain the Doctor got the diary so it could go back to the Tardis so she would find it, all rather "timey-wimey"! Not really my best chapter, sorry. Hope it wasn't too cheesy or confusing, just wanted everyone to have something before I stop writing for a while. Reviews make me write faster though… **


	9. Chapter 9

**Glad to hear you all liked the last one, I felt awful killing off River (I can't stand her in series 5 & 6 but in series 4 that episode broke my heart!), but I really couldn't write a River VS Rose face off – I cannot stand that type of thing, and to be honest I can't ever really picture either having one!**

"Martha?" Gwen clamped the phone to her ear as she ran through the streets.

"…Hello I'm not here at the moment… "Gwen let out a frustrated sigh as the phone rang to answer machine "… Anyway leave a message after the beep and I'll get back to you." Martha's voice lingered in Gwen's ear as replaced the phone back into her pocket just as it began vibrating in her hand.

"Martha?"

"Gwen?" Martha replied breathlessly "Have you seen River? She's disappeared; Amy and Rory are going frantic!"

"No… but oh my Martha you better get here quickly…"

"Why? Gwen what's happened?" Martha voice was growing frantic and in the distant Gwen could hear the hysterical shouts of the other companions.

"Where are you?" Gwen asked subdued

"I'm at hospital, look I've got to go, meet me in the café in 20 minutes." With that Martha hung up leaving Gwen wondering how she was going to get across the city in less than half an hour.

-x-

"Gwen's coming now, she might have news." Martha reassured Amy. It had been over 24 hours since River had disappeared and there had been no news. It wasn't like River to disappear, yes she left them sometimes, travelled alone, sometimes without warning. But she wouldn't just go when the Doctor was so ill. He was her husband; she should be at his bedside.

"Martha!" Flushed and breathless Gwen arrived in the foyer the fob watch lying damp in her palm. "Oh my god Martha!" Unable to say much more she bent over in exhaustion and slapped the watch onto a table.

That was it. It couldn't be, but it was. There, lying on the table was the watch, the watch that might possibly save the lives of both the men up stairs. "River?" Martha stuttered cradling the metal oval between her fingers.

Gwen shook her head "- No there was this girl. She was using a vortex manipulator, she just appeared suddenly, and she was looking for _you_."

"For_ me_?" Martha shot Gwen a confused glance "It must been from River…"

"She's coming then?" Amy asked catching the hushed conversation.

Martha gave Amy a weak answer. Give her hope, leave her with that at least, she thought. River wasn't coming home, something was wrong. Very wrong.

"- I don't want to intrude" Rory faltered bearing lukewarm coffees "But shouldn't we take this upstairs?"

Martha nodded, clutching the watch even tighter in her palm, and started for the lift.

They arrived upstairs in a few minutes and Martha drew back the curtains around his bed with a flourish.

"Doctor?" She knelt beside his unconscious body. "Doctor, look, look what we found" She dangled the watch in front of his closed eyes. "Should I open it?" She asked him quietly "Will it fix this?"

With a noiseless click the fob watched opened and suddenly a bright golden light filled the air, and Rory darted back to close the curtains. The light enclosed around the Doctor's face, sucking at his skin and within a second it disappeared and his monitors ceased to a stretched beep and then to silence. They stood not daring to move, not daring to believe he had really died. Slowly Martha got to her feet and began fingering the sheet, grasping it to pull it over his head and body. Suddenly his body shot up, his eyes wild and his mouth reaching for breath like a fish out of water. He let his arms rise and stretch out, and faint gold dust began to form around them. He held them steady, his fingers stretched and the golden dust forming a bright ball between them. But as suddenly as it had appeared the dust began to fade, and his steady arms grew limp. He gave a final deep breath before collapsing and grinning intensely at the group surrounding his bedside.

"Did you miss me?" His eyes gradually closed with the words and his body lay cold.

"No, you are not doing this to me!" Martha's reaction was sudden, clasping his limp body in her hands searching for a pulse. "1...2…3" She pounding his chest, before backing away and waiting for a response. "-Oh two hearts. Don't you die on me mister; I've only just got you back." She waited. They all waited. "He doesn't have the energy. He can't regenerate-" She stopped mid sentence they all knew what she was saying. It was him or John; there wasn't enough energy to support them both.

"Martha…" Rose stood in the opening. Her eyes fixed on the body. "Is he?"

"Rose" Martha moved towards her leading her out of the cubicle. "There's nothing we can do, there isn't enough energy for them both…"

"I see what saying. You're saying he's more important, more important than John. Well, listen to me Martha Jones. You might not know him, but I do. He's my husband. My _husband_! And I am not letting him go!" Rose's voice rose with each word, by the end she was surrounded by nurses.

Martha shook her head as the nurses tried to lead them out. "Rose, Rose please. I know how it feels-"

"-YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW IT FEELS. You have no idea. Both the men I love are lying in this room, dying. How do you think it feels to know you have to switch one of them off to save the other? How do you think it feels, to know that one everyone wants you to switch off is your husband? How the bloody hell can you _even _think you know how it feels?!" Rose collapsed into Martha arms.

"It's ok; it's going to be ok Rose, its going ok." She murmured softly into Rose's hair.

"I have to, don't I? I have to stop this." Rose looked up locking eyes with Martha.

"You don't have to do anything you don't want to." But Martha let her go, watching her stumble over to John.

Opening the curtains she slid inside and alone stood next to the machine, fingering its plastic buttons in heavy concentration. Next to her lay John, her John, the man she loved. The man she was about to reduce to no more. She couldn't do this. As if he sensed her dilemma a golden haze evaporated from the Doctor's fingertips and dissolved instantly above John's heart. His body gave a lurch and his eyes flicked.  
>"Rose?" His voice was like sand paper grating away each word, making each sentence grow quieter as he went on. "You were brilliant, you were all brilliant. Do you remember Queen Victoria? The Olympics? Our wedding? New, new, new, new, new… new York?" His eyes looked up in hope and through her tears she smiled back.<p>

"I, I love you" She gasped, the unbroken beep penetrated the air. Her face was a wet spidery mass of mascara and the switch pressed down beneath her fingers. John was gone.

**Thanks for reading.**


	10. Chapter 10

A soft unbroken haze of gold evaporated from John's hands and hovered over the Doctor's chest. Slowly the Doctor's eyes began to flicker.

"Doctor?!" Martha jumped to attention kneeling down next to him. "Welcome back, remember me?"

"Martha?" His voice was groggy, each word was weighted and his mouth slurred. "Martha Jones how could I ever forget?"

A light shallow laugh escaped under Martha's breath. "It's the same old you then?" She whispered.

"Of course. Same old me! Apart from now I have Amy" Swiftly Amy moved over next to him as he gestured to her with a large grin "and Rory. Say hi Rory." Obligingly Rory gave a limp wave muttering "but they already know me…" "And River?" He already knew the answer; he had gone through years knowing the answer.

"She's gone Doctor." Amy pulled his hand into hers. "But she saved your life, she gave you this." Amy pulled the watch out of Martha's grasp placing it on top of his chest.

"I think you already knew that, didn't you?"

He sighed turning away and closing his eyes in an attempt to block her out.

"You've known for a while, haven't you?" Martha leant her head against his shoulder whispering so quietly the rest of the group couldn't hear "You knew this was going to happen for years…"

"How did you?"

"Unlike some people Donna didn't forget me-"

"-I didn't forgot-"

"Not now Doctor." Sharply she cut him off with a shake of the head "We kept in touch, she told me things, thought I would understand…"

"And?" The Doctor asked in equally hushed tones.

"No" She replied with a slight shake of the head, the others busied themselves with the curtains, the ceilings, the floor or anything they could try and find slightly interesting. "No I don't understand why you always, why you always fall for- Look I'm sorry, I was just so worried. You never visited, just that once. God you looked so rough, I was so worried. I'm sorry, I'm sorry."

"Why are you sorry?" The Doctor placed his head on hers.

"I'm sorry. River, I should have stopped her… Look I'm hogging you arent I? I expect you'd like to talk to someone else, Amy? Rose? Jack?" She spoke the last few names as she backed away from the Doctor.

"Martha?" His voice stopped her in her tracks. "Thank you." Was all she heard before her ears began to fill with the tumbling voices of his companions.

Amy leant in first, gathering him into the most humongous hug he had ever had. "I've missed you. God I've missed you, you stupid, stupid raggedy man. Raggedy man I thought I would never see you again…" She buried her head in his chest.

"And I've missed you Amelia Pond."

"Williams." Rory coughed behind them.

"Oh it will always be Ponds to me."

"It's Williams." Rory muttered rolling his eyes.

"You're all here." The Doctor grinned scanning the room "Jack-"

"Alright Doc?" Jack winked with a salute as the Doctor's eyes rested on him.

"Alright captain?" He replied with a wink.

"- And Amy and Rory, and Martha, and oh Gwen, hello! Look everybody its Gwen!"

Laughing Gwen held up her hand in a weak wave. "Hello Doctor."

"Oh we have everyone don't we!" The Doctor grinned ignoring the obvious. "And Rose, we have Rose Tyler." He glanced over at where she stood. Standing alone in front of John's bed, her eyes firmly fixed on the empty bed. Suddenly as if she felt his eyes on her she took fleeting look round. Their eyes locked for a moment across the ward. "_Rose_" "_Doctor." _Their words were so soft but both caught them as if they were next to each other.

**Thanks for reading.**


	11. Chapter 11

"Did you love her?" Rose's voice broke the Doctor's stream of thoughts and he nodded slightly. He was standing in the entrance staring into the heart of the library. River's favourite place. He barely looked at Rose as she spoke, and she noticed he was ever so slightly shaking. She had never seen him like this. "Do you want me to go?" She asked already retreating up the winding steps.

Slowly he shook his head and motioned for Rose to join him, and for a moment they stood with only the hum of the TARDIS for company. He looked around. There was so much of River still here, her books lay opened untouched from a vivid reading session, a half empty mug was creating a ring on a shelve and her scent lingered moist in the air. He couldn't be left alone in here, not today. It was too much. He had always known she would go sometime, and he had known that time was nearing. But why now? Why now, when he couldn't even say goodbye? That struck him hard, not being able to say goodbye. Instead his former self, who barely knew her, was the one to comfort her in her final moments. It was so unfair.

"Look at us, two lost souls." His smirk interrupted her thoughts and instinctively she placed her palm over his. Wrapping her fingers around his knuckles and for a while they stood watching the library and remembering all its past inhabitants.

"Do you miss her?"

"Of course… She was my wife." He turned and for the first time looked directly across at Rose. "You said they'd never spilt us up."

"I was wrong – God, I was so wrong…" Rose's voice choked on thoughts of Doomsday and John.

"Do you know how many companions I've lost?" Rose shook her numbly and he turned at looked into the heart of the library, unable to catch her eye, gripping onto the railing to steady his shaking body. "Too many – But you, Rose Tyler, are the only one that keeps coming back. Against all the odds, against everything they do to us, you fight back."

"That's because I have to, I can't lose you. I can't live without you. "

"I can't either" He choked, wrapping his arms around her, for a moment Rose stood still, his touch cool against her agitated skin but slowly and steadily teals began to roll down her cheeks.

"Doctor…" She buried her head his shoulder and he drew her closer. "Doctor, my John, he's gone… He's gone. It's all my fault, if I'd listened to him when… when he first felt ill I could have done something…"

"Rose." He pulled her off his chest, clasping her head in his hands and staring into her eyes "There was nothing you could have done. It was always going to end like this. It was always going to be one of us."

"I killed him. It was my choice; it was him, or you. I couldn't do it. I couldn't do it. I didn't know, I didn't know about River… I didn't know."

"Rose. It's been hundreds of years for me. It's been what four, five, six years, since you last saw me? I've lived through the end of worlds; I've seen Kings come to throne and Queen's over take them. I've been married. But you have too. It doesn't mean I'm not the same person. I haven't changed Rose Tyler."

"Then tell me Doctor, if you are the man I left, the man I saved, the man John died for. When we were on that beach and I was experiencing the worse day of my life. What were you going to say… what was the end of that sentence. The one John completed. If you're still that man, then tell me, please, tell me what it was…"

"I said… I said…" He stood now alone swaying against the library railings. Rose watched on as his mouth gaped like a fish and he writhed as if in pain. She wanted to reach out to him, but instead she stayed put, waiting, waiting for the words she longed to hear. He didn't know what to say, an open book caught his eye. It was River's. His wife's. He couldn't do it, he couldn't betray her. But then he realised he knew, he knew River loved him. She died so he could live. If he didn't do the right thing now, her death would have been wasted. Her death meant he could live and if he wasted his life then her death was pointless. He loved her and always would but today, today he was going tell that to someone else. He wasn't going to lose both the people he loved. Not today.

Quietly his words filled the TARDIS "I said… I said Rose Tyler… Rose Tyler, I love you."

**Well? I hope this was ok, I wanted him to be with Rose, but I couldn't have him dishonouring River's memory. By writing this I've actually convinced myself it was ok that he loved them both. What do you think? Please review.**


	12. Chapter 12

**I've just re-uploaded this chapter as I've changed his goodbye with Amy and Rory. Hope you enjoy it.**

"Look at the stars,

Look how they shine for you,

And all the things that you do,

They were all yellow-"

Rose walked the aisle alone, the eyes of her fellow mourners watched her intently, but she didn't stop, she couldn't. Her breath quickened with her steps until she was trembling, and the world was twisting in front of her. It only drew to halt once she was outside the crematorium doors gates. She was alone now away from the sympathetic glances and silent tears that accompanied her in the chapel. She liked it out here, with only the stars for comfort. The stars, she watched them in awe, wondering how many of them had been saved by the Doctor and John. He was gone now, her John. She had her last goodbye earlier that day. She missed him. All the tears the others had shed for him were real enough, but she, she couldn't even cry. She and the Doctor had stood side by side, surrounded by the tears of others, unable to shed any of their own.

"Rose?" The Doctor slid out of the gates and hovered beside her. He had left the chapel just after her, following her out of the crematoriums grounds and bidding his time to comfort her. "He would be so proud of you, Rose. I know he would." His breath created a cloud in the air as he spoke and silently she slid her hand in his.

"Do you think it was ok?"

"I liked it. The songs; they was perfect. He would have loved it." He wrapped his arm around her shoulders, shielding her from the autumn breeze. "You've done him so proud. He, I, I'm so proud of you Rose." So proud of what? Rose thought, so proud she had kept dry through the funeral, so proud of what she had done, or so proud that she had chosen him over John. She didn't know, and she didn't want to.

"The stars are shinning for him tonight. In every world, in every universe the stars are shinning for him." The Doctor draped his jacket over her frame, guiding her arms upwards to the sky, creating pictures with her fingertips. "Look above. That one there, the smallest one in the sky, that's Colmosh. Do you remember how we went there? When you still wore plaits and everything was new?"

Rose nodded slowly, pictures of the planet forming in her mind. "It was hot?"

"Yes, very hot, very, very hot. We got tans, well I burnt. You said, you said I looked like a-"

"-A tomato" Rose finished for him "-an old peeling tomato." Her laugher filled the air around them as she began to forget her earlier worries and for a moment she was here, sitting on the beaches of Colmosh and listening to the Doctor whine about his burning ears. "Those ears!"

"Hey! I loved those ears, and that accent, that accent was pretty good you have to admit!" And unsuccessful struggled to copy his old drawl. Rose collapsed with laughter, falling against the gate posts and instantly the Doctor was beside her pulling her up. "Come on, the others will wondering where we are." And with that he led her through the gates, her mouth still curved from laughter.

-x-

"So these are the triplets?" The Doctor bent down to welcome a bundle of excited children into his arms. It was a week or so after John's funeral and slowly but steadily people were leaving the TARDIS. He'd landed in Martha's back garden a few minutes ago and already he was being overwhelmed by people. Engulfed in hugs from Tish and quick slap on back from Mickey – it seemed that in his new regenerated state he got on with Mickey better and could almost not remember why he had ever treated him as the 'tin dog'. "They're great." He told Martha as he sent them off running round the garden. "So which is which?"

"The one with plaits is Ellie. She's the oldest, the boss. Don't mess with Ellie." Martha let a laugh escape as she captured a child between her legs, pulling her up onto her lap. "This is Harriet. Say hello to the Doctor Hatty." Martha prompted Harriet to give the Doctor a shy wave before collapsing in giggles against Martha's chest. "And the final one is Grace. She's my little doctor, always playing hospitals."

"Just like you then."

Martha nodded "And you."

"They're great Martha."

"You really think so?" Martha let herself blush with pride and he nodded energetically. "Thank you."

They spent the afternoon in the garden, enjoying a sudden autumn bright spell. It almost went too quickly but they didn't try and prolong their stay. Leaving as the clock hit six, the Doctor followed by Rose, Amy and Rory disappeared into the TARDIS as Martha disappeared into the kitchen for more wine, and whilst Mickey was putting the children to bed and the Torchwood crew toured the house. They arrived back to see the TARDIS fade into the hedge and stood wordless watching its light dim.

"He never was good at goodbyes." Martha will recount later over a morning coffee with Gwen or an evening drink with Jack or even in bed as she turns off the light. They'll hate him but eventually they'll forgive him and put it down as him, being him, and know for the future the Doctor doesn't do goodbyes.

-x-

"You'll visit right?" Amy embraced him on the doorstep.

"Of course." He wrapped his around hers and forced a smile. "I'm going to miss you Amelia Williams."

"And I'm going to miss you raggedy man." She held him tight, unwilling to let go, unwilling to leave the adventure and memories behind. "I suppose we really have to go this time?"

He nodded, tasting the rust of blood on his tongue as he stopped a tear escape.

"I mean it could be fun, couldn't it? It would get to see everywhere; it would have the best history and geography and science lessons all in one, all the time. It would fun." For the second time that week the Doctor noticed the rounding of Amy's flat stomach. The first time was a night or so after Martha's, when she had told him and told him that they were leaving at the end of the week. Because having a baby in the TARDIS would bring back memories of before and they didn't want to remember all of those things. But now as she left she realised how much she was going to miss it. But she needed to move away, they needed to start again.

"But it can also be dangerous, intense and sad." The Doctor's eyes told her much more than his mouth did. That he understood why they had to go, and he understood what she was going through. "I'd love to have you Amy, you, Rory and the baby. But maybe later. So whenever that baby or you need something, just call me. Anything, help with homework, an on hand babysitter, a weekend away. You pick up that phone and I'll come running." He gave her one last squeeze and broke away.

"Wait!" Amy called after him in a panic "Before you go, let me get my camera… and RORY?! Wait there. Don't you dare move." She threatened running back into the house "RORY?!"

The Doctor watched Amy's silhouette appear and disappear through the windows, her voice dying and rising as called for her husband. He began to open the TARDIS door but Rose's voice stopped him in his tracks.

"Don't you dare" She barred his path with her body and shoved him forward. "Not today, don't you even dare." So for once in his life the Doctor stayed for a goodbye.

Rose took the picture; her fingers fiddling with the simple buttons and Amy's laugh danced in the air as the Doctor straighten his bowtie. The pictures slid out in an instant and the Doctor caught them before they touched the ground. Then he tucked one in his pocket and placed the other in Amy's palm. She gave him a quick squeeze and made him promise to visit. "-And don't be 12 years late this time." She warned before watching him disappear into TARDIS. "I'm going to miss you Raggedy Man."

He closed the TARDIS door before Amy could see a tear slid down his check and, they were silent for a moment, the Doctor and Rose, listening to sound of TARDIS as it began to hum.

"What about you? What are you going to do now?" Rose watched him from the other side of the room, unsure of what to do.

"Well… back travelling, I suppose. Same old life."

She nodded, waiting for him to say more, to explain. But he just stood there messing around with controls and staring intently at the console. Finally she picked up the courage to ask the question she'd been dreading "On your own?"

"Why?" He looked up from a switch he was about to flick. His forehead furrowed as he asked "Don't you want to come?"

She broke into a lapse of relieved laughter "-Yeah"

"You do though?" He asked as he walked to her side and relieved she nodded.

"I just thought… 'cause I'd changed."

"I thought 'cause you changed you might not want me anymore."

"Oh no! I'd love you to come. Rose Tyler and the Doctor, in the TARDIS, as it should be. Barcelona here we come." He flicked a switch with one hand and slid the other in Rose's. He couldn't wait.

**The end! May be a sequel, depends really. Hope you enjoyed this fic, it's the longest I've ever written and I think my writing technique has improved throughout, well I hope so. I'm glad people enjoyed it and I must say I found it really interesting reading peoples responses to the last chapter, everyone was very spilt between Rose and River! Oh and also just in case you noticed I did change the names of the triplets. Oh and the song at the beginning is Coldplay's Yellow.**

**I'd just like to say thank you ever so much to everyone you have favourite/reviewed/followed this story. And especially to**

Sucperlc529 –Thanks for the continuous reviews and basically being my unofficial beta checker! Thank you!

Shara Raizel –Thanks for the continuous reviews and support!


End file.
